INTP PART 4

Four Ways to Leave Your Lover Ending a Relationship Gracefully By Dr. Lovegood You believe the relationship is over, finished, kaput. Now how do you tell your partner? Part of the answer depends on your partner’s temperament.

You don’t need to be coy, Roy 
If your partner is a Rational, they may not even see this coming. Rationals are well known for completely missing hints, suggestions, and even outright statements of dissatisfaction. You will need to be very direct. Keep in mind that this may be the first time your partner has heard you, and they may be willing to do an awful lot to keep you. Communicate as matter-of-factly and unemotionally as you can. You may find your relationship is not completely dead.


Are you are vulnerable for an affair?
By Dr. Lovegood



Everybody in a long term relationship wonders at some point if they are in the right relationship. They wonder if they might be happier with someone else. Many times a good part of this wondering is subconscious. People aren’t even really aware that they are questioning the relationship.
There are two things that cause most infidelity (not including constant infidelity of people unable or unwilling to make a sexual commitment). Those two things are needs not being met and consciously or unconsciously looking for greener grass. If your needs are not being met, you are vulnerable for an affair. Of course, people’s needs vary by temperament and type, but here’s a short summary.

Rationals want to be esteemed for their incisive reasoning and ability to not be swayed by illogical emotional appeals. They can become vulnerable to an affair if they have no intelligent admiring audience for theories or their intellectual expression is squelched.

Infidelity
By Dr. Lovegood
The temperaments tend to have different reactions to their own infidelity. Some find it easier to justify than others. Some find it easier to justify a series of short term affairs (they always return to their "true love") and others find it easier to justify a long term affair ("it's not like I'm catting around"). In America, all types can practice serial monogamy, moving from one relationship to the next but never having more than one sexual partner at a time. Sometimes a person believes that they have been forced into a marriage. In that case, they may not feel a commitment to the partner, so an affair can be justified by those of all temperaments.

Rationals tend to be faithful, with Masterminds (INTJ) the most likely and Inventors (ENTP) the least likely. As a rule, Rationals have a more manageable sex drive than other temperaments. Sex is still very important to them, but usually not as all-consuming except during the teen years. Rationals are the most likely (along with Promoter and Crafter Artisans) to separate sex and love. When they do that, they may have little trouble justifying an affair. Inventors sometimes act like Artisans, going for the adrenaline high of conquest.